Breakups
I’m a gemini, I’m a sucker for excitement, surprises and anything that’s new, is better. So why am I in a long-term relationship that is turning 5 years this November? My previous relationships never went pass the 2-year mark. So how is this different?
I have to say, my job, not god, saved my relationship. If you know me well enough, you’ll know that I’m ALWAYS working. I’m not a workaholic by choice, I’m just destined to slog like hell my whole life. So, while I’m seemingly married to my work, the boyfriend is like a mistress. And we all know how much we love mistresses!
To all the 14-hour work days, all the burnt weekends seem to be worth it now. Isn’t this warped.
My theory is, the more time you have on hand to spend with your partner, the more opportunities to notice the flaws of him/her, the higher the chances of you finding fault. It is almost human – we like things that are scarce. And the more something is in abundance, the more we commodify it. The Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns is such a bitch, it’s true.
It’s just like how others say you need to give one another “space” and “own time” (while my “own time” is basically spent working) you need periods of time where you cool off one another, update your own facebook account, beat your own angry bird high score, write a blog entry that maybe 2.5 persons will read.
Another view that I have is that – same age relationships are difficult. My parents are of the same age, the boyfriend and I are both born in 1985. Females mature faster than males. And without NS, the gap just becomes a hell of a gaping hole. The boyfriend is not exactly the most romantic or exciting person on earth, but he handles all the admin stuff in my life like a trusty personal assistant. While some people might think that we’re a relationship of convenience, I see it more of a tag team. We make up for one another’s shortcoming, and sooner than you know, you can’t live without one another because no one else can have that kind of chemistry and trust like the boyfriend can provide.
To me, romance is child’s play. I’ve always thought, live your fullest when you’re young and at all cost, avoid quarter life crises. I’ve seen so many goody two shoes go berserk once they reach the big two-five. It is appalling. I sound like a jaded old fuck, but let’s be honest. After all the partying and flighty relationships, I’m convinced I’ve seen enough to know what I truly need and deserve in life. While the boyfriend is not a millionaire, doesn’t drive, loves iPhone applications too much, he is… enough. Enough for me to look forward to an evening out, enough for me to smile when I get his morning messages.
Good men are hard to come by. But bad boys are the ones girls hate to love. While I have pondered upon how it would be like to be with a loaded, mature guy, I’ve dated enough of them to know that most of them are just plain dodgy. And most of them are attached, and cheating.
So…
The boyfriend is complaining behind me. It’s important to make concessions for one another. It’s important to come to a median. But sometimes, breakups aren’t necessarily a bad thing. They can be devastating but life changing at the same time.
Goodbye.
